Change of scenery

It’s very difficult to have sex at your parents house.  The possible discovery of the two of you mid-coitus is terrifying.  Or at least, it should be.  Occam and myself found it quite exhilarating, the prospect of being walked in on made it all the more kinky: it was naughty, we shouldn’t have been doing it there, it was bad.  But oh-so-good.

So this got me to thinking (in a Carrie Bradshaw fashion) about moving things out of the bedroom, and into more exciting places:

1. Your backyard.  Not very kinky,I hear you say?  Well, I figured if you’ve never had outdoor sex before, this is a good place to start.  You’re still on your property, and can run inside if you get cold feet (both literally and metaphorically).  But wouldn’t it be tres cute if you bumped uglies under the stars? 🙂

2. In a hot tub/jacuzzi/bath.  I can vouch for this one personally.  The water acts as a sort-of lubricant, so how’s about adding a little anal play while you’re at it?

3. Off the beaten track in the woods.  But take a map so you don’t get too lost.

4. The car, in a secluded spot.  I would like to other a few tips on this: make sure it’s a big car  (not a Ford Ka).  You want aches that make you remember your steamy session, not aches that mean you can’t sit up properly for two days.  Also, make sure it’s in a very secluded spot.  I have heard stories about peeping Toms that would make you cringe.

5. A nightclub, to a certain extent.  Now, there are still a few fetish nightclubs about in the big cities (London, Birmingham at least) for you and your lover to pop along and get very frisky and then take the sex home.  Remember, sex in public is illegal.

And a few places to not have sex:

1. Your office/place of work.  You run the risk of being fired.  Not cool.

2. The beach.  I don’t need to tell you about the exfoliating properties of sand.  Do you want that in those places?  Also, beaches contain a lot of faecal matter, so I really wouldn’t recommend it.

3. A graveyard.  Just too creepy and a little bit wrong.

So take these into consideration and explore a change of scenery.  Your sex life will love it.

Reviews galore: Part 2 – Durex

This second post is about the myriad of products that Durex have sent me over the last few months.

Deluxe

First up is from the new range of ‘Feeling’ condoms from Durex, called Deluxe.  They are described as ‘the Diamond standard in thinness’, which is meant to offer you and your partner extra added closeness and new sensations.

When Occam first opened the packet, we were both initially impressed by the superior packaging, and intrigued by the ‘micro fine’ condoms within.  We hoped these would be as mind blowing as Durex suggested.  Unfortunately, as soon Occam entered me I wasn’t immediately impressed: the condom felt very un-lubricated, which produced a slightly ‘wooden’ feeling.  Worried that we’d just come across a slightly dodgy condom, we tried another one, but this too produced the same feeling.  Again, I could feel the condom moving as Occam moved, and it was a sensation I didn’t really wish to feel.  And at £9.99 for just 5 condoms, I ‘feel’ that you should try other products in this range….

Real Feel

Apparently these condoms contain RealFeel material, giving a natural skin-on-skin feeling.  After using the Deluxe condoms, Occam and myself were a bit skeptical, but obviously open to trying new things 😉

I think the only way I can review these is to say simply that we loved them so much we’re making them our mainstay choice of condom.  They really do feel great, and do feel like there is no condom there, so it’s like making skin-on-skin contact – this is where the Deluxe condom failed.  They don’t need any extra lube, they are non-latex (crucial to know if you’re allergic) and while they give great pleasure they also don’t feel so thin that they might break at any moment.  Always an added bonus.

This pack contains ten condoms, and costs £9.95 for the pack, which is much better value than the Deluxe condoms straightaway.  Add the fact that these are, by far, the best condoms either myself or Occam have ever used, and you can go ahead and add that they are also spankingly awesome too.

Play Sweet Strawberry

I’m very picky about lubes.  I find that any of these special edition flavours tend to irritate me…..down there.  Not pleasant, and it definitely takes the fun out of what’s meant to be a very pleasurable experience.  Don’t get me wrong – flavoured lubes come to the rescue if you hate the taste of condoms when giving your man a blow job (although I do prefer sans condom).  But I find it difficult to not have some sort of irritation with any lube apart from KY Jelly.

Anywho, just recently I’ve had a few problems (I won’t go into it and put a downer on things) which have meant that I’ve required the use of lube to just have even the most vanilla of sex.  Role up Durex Play Sweet Strawberry.  Let’s see what you’ve got.

I was instantly impressed by the fact it was strawberry – why wasn’t this done sooner?  Why go for the exotic (and perhaps run the risk of a lot of people being put off by) flavours, such as Pina Colada?  Strawberry is loved by practically everyone, and especially during Wimbledon (which was when this lube was launched).

We’ve only tried this once, and I think it’s definitely my favourite of the Play range of lubes.  Occam may take more convincing, purely because he’s one of the few people who don’t like strawberries.

Anyway, this lube does exactly what it says on the tin.  It’s a good lubricant, it didn’t cause me any irritation, both during sex and anal.  It tastes alright…..but I’d personally rather use it purely as a means of lubricant during anal, rather than as a supplement to my giving a blow job.

Play Massage Melts

Last, but not least, we have the 2 in 1 massage melts, so called because they can act as massage oil and lubricant.  There are six pods to each pack, and for £6.99 I think this is a reasonable price to pay if you want something different to your conventional lube.  For this product is not your standard lube!  These nifty little pods can be put in the freezer and left till they are like ice cubes.  Then you can pop one out and enjoy the lovely tingly sensation!

Occam and myself took this a little further: I was very intrigued about how these would feel in more intimate places.  So one night we tried sticking one of the frozen cubes in my ass.  This tingled a lot, and not in a good way.  But as it melted it provided a good lubricant, which meant easier anal sex 😉 Another night Occam put a frozen cube up my pussy.  That felt delicious.  And the sex afterwards was amazing (we also used the ‘Real Feel’ condoms, as mentioned above, so it was doubly awesome!).

Should you buy these?  Yes!

Reviews galore: Part 1 – Love Honey

I have a multitude of reviews lined up for you, dear readers.  I’m going to split them into two posts, based on where the products came from.  The first part of my mega review session is all about Love Honey.  Occam recently bought me three items from this site:

Bondage Boutique Xtreme Collar

Occam bought me this one in red, and I have to say, on first impressions I really liked this.  I was really impressed it was actually leather, especially at this reasonable price (£28.99).  It just smacked of kink, and couldn’t wait to get home and parade around wearing it.  I was a little concerned that it would be too wide and I’d end up permanently looking up at the ceiling for the rest of the night, but this was a silly assumption.  The only problem I had with this was that it was too big for my neck!  There’s a buckle fastening at the back (this isn’t uncomfortable either), but unfortunately, even on the tightest setting this was still too big.  Maybe it would be a good suggestion to state the size, or, even better, offer different sizes!

But there’s a major bonus for buying bondage gear from LoveHoney at the moment:  they send out a ‘loyality card’, where you collect tokens with every bondage purchase.  Collect ten tokens and you get one free spanker, or carry on and collect 15 tokens to get two free spankers.  And LoveHoney give you two tokens for free!  Given that there’s a huge selection of bondage gear on the site, getting this many tokens isn’t going to be difficult.

I ended up wearing this collar with this:

Dreamgirl Red Diamond Strapped Babydoll

Oh good Lord.  How sexy is that?!  I was itching to get it on (hoping I’d end up looking like the model!).  This is made by Dreamgirl, a brand I’ve come across before, and really liked, but have always been cautious about the seemingly high prices for very little material!  Hence why I think that although this is lovely, and looks great on, I really wouldn’t pay £24.99 for it.

But more on how this looked good on, in case price isn’t an issue for you.  This dress come in one size only, which apparently will fit sizes 8-18.  I was very skeptical at how this could work but this fabric is very stretchy but is also flattering.  Because the fabric is mesh, and the dress is a halter neck, this really lifts your boobs up, meaning there’s no need for a bra, even for the most well endowed lady!

Occam had also bought me something else to go underneath this:

Cupid’s Itty Bitty Beginner’s Butt Plug

Occam bought me this as an extra present, as it was reasonably inexpensive (£8.99).  My immediate thoughts were that it was quite cute!  Very smooth and soft, this was easy to fit into my bum hole underneath the babydoll.  The main reason Occam got this was so I could essentially be double penetrated, which is a huge fantasy for me.  So when Occam entered me (butt plug in, babydoll on, collar strapped around my neck) it felt incredible.  And then *pop!*  The butt plug fell out.  After multiple attempts we concluded that this butt plug is great for beginners new to anal play, but not those who have anal sex on a (semi-) regular basis.   However, this could be a ‘starter’ butt plug, to just ease your bum hole a little before enjoying anal sex – one of the reviewers on LoveHoney had said that she wears it all day long!

I hope you’ve found this part of my review session helpful – the next part, on Durex products, will be put up the end of the week.

Bite me

I now have matching love bites, one on each cheek of my bum 😉

Introductions

We met at uni – the first conversation we had resulted in him insulting me.  Not in a ‘damn, you’re ugly’ way; it was meant in a teasing way, but due to the subject of the comment, which is something I’m very protective of, it came across as an insult.  Not a good start, but a memorable one.

His comments on subject matters were somewhat interesting.  They made me think he was an arrogant, obnoxious git.  But, on the opposite end of the scale, he was also lovely, on occasion.  When I was having a crisis printing off some work for a deadline, he went out of his way to help out until it was sorted.  Hmmm.  I was having a dilemma.  Here was a guy whose views were very Tory-upper class-let’s ship all the immigrants back home….and yet I was strangely attracted to him.  I couldn’t stop thinking about him.  He annoyed me for just making me think about him.

I confided in friends about this and I was persuaded to get up off my backside and decide whether I really liked him or not, and if I did, to do something about it!  Over the Christmas holidays I thought about him more often.  I decided to do something about it.

How though? I’m as nervous as a mouse when it comes to asking guys out.  There’s this overwhelming fear of rejection.  But I asked him.  And he said yes.

When I asked him, my heart was pounding in my chest.  His face was one of shock – had I said something wrong?  Was he thinking of the best way to turn me down?  I quickly made my excuses, to save him uttering the words that would crush my hopes.  As I did, he suddenly appeared to re-animate, and reassured me that actually, yes, he would like to go out with me.

I left with a spring in my step, and quite literally, a song in my heart.  I felt as light as a feather.

He took me out a few days later and we had a lovely meal.  He walked me home and held me tightly as I walked in stupidly high heels over the ice on the pavements.  And then, when we got to my house, as the song goes, he kissed me.

We’ve been seeing each other for 5 months now, and I’ve introduced him as Occam.  There are more stories about our antics to come – I hope they prove to be an exciting read!

Questions

I am putting a question to you, my dear readers, for your thoughts and opinions on:

Leg spreaders.

Now, me and Occam (I have a post drafted on him but I want to get it perfectly perfect before I publish) have been discussing getting a leg spreader for myself for a while now, and I have a few questions I would like to hear answers to:

1.  Where is the best place to buy them from?

2.  And what is the average price for a decent one?

3.  What is the best material to have them made out of?

4.  Has anyone tried the ones with wrist cuffs attached?

Feel free to post your thoughts, opinions, reviews and stories if you wish.

My wish list

I want you to tie my hands together, behind my back, then push me to my knees.

I want a collar around my neck, with a lead attached to it, which you will hold in your hand and position me wherever you want me.

I want you to force the entire length of your cock into my mouth, and, using the lead in your hand, as well as pulling on my hair with your other hand,  fuck my face.  Make me deep throat you.

I want you to drag me to the edge of the bed, push me onto my knees again, and push my face into the bed.  I want you to position your face between my cheeks and run your  tongue up and down the length of my pussy.  Suck on my clit, and bite my cheeks, do anything you want.

I want you to  rub the tip of your cock at the opening of my pussy.  Tease me, make me beg.  Slide the entire length of your cock into me, slowly. Fuck me with long, slow strokes, in and out of me.

I want you to grab my hair as you speed up.

I want you to change your mind, and pull me up, and push me against the wall.  Spread my legs apart, and  thrust into me again.  Pull on my hair and hold onto the cuffs that are still restraining my wrists.

I want you to pound me so hard it brings you to the point where you want to come.

I want you to pull out, and take your cock in you hand.  Finish yourself off, and come over my back and bum.

Now it’s your turn to make a wish list

Valentine’s Day

Nearly a month later I am brave enough to go onto the Agent Provocateur website to get the pictures of my present, and almost certainly find out how much my present cost.  It’s not like I want to know, but it’s a by-product of blogging about my pressie.

This is what I was bought by my lovely man:

with the matching briefs.  They are incredibly sumptuous, and lovely to wear as the silk feels so soft and, well, silky against the skin.  And they came perfectly gift-wrapped!

I’ve just totted up the price in my head.

*Dies*

I know I shouldn’t have looked, but I wanted to share what fabulous lingerie I’d been bought!  I truly am lucky. And it just means I’ll make it up to him for peeking at the price tonight, most likely wearing this.

Durex review – part 2

Now I have a permanent lust-object in my grasp who seems to be kinky, or as willing to be as kinky, as me I decided to let him (who needs a name by the way) have a peek inside my sex drawer.  He was impressed.  He was also incredibly shocked by the amount of lube I had amassed – mainly due to Durex giving me freebies.  He enquired as to how one person could need so much lube, and I merely said it was due being very lucky in getting free samples.

So here’s our varied review:

Tingle

We didn’t exactly waste any time in trying out two of the samples.  Let me paint you a picture: myself, kneeling on the floor, bent over the edge of the bed.  Him kneeling behind me pouring lube onto my naked behind.  He rubbed the lube all over my buttocks, before dipping a finger into my bum hole.  At first, it felt good.  All I would have needed him to do was to reach round with his other hand and start rubbing my clit and I’d be on my way to a stellar orgasm.  But then the tingle lube did what it does best – tingle.

Although it says on the label ‘suitable for oral, anal and penetrative sex’ I really would not recommend it for anal sex.  Feeling your insides tingling does distract you away from any object that may be entering you – which could be a good thing – but it distracts you from feeling anything else – which is bad.  You can’t begin to feel good about what your man’s doing to make you feel like a goddess as your head is just going ‘this is weeeiiirrdd’.  Perhaps the tingle lubricant would be best suited to hand jobs.

Pina colada

Much better and can be used for practically anything.  This is by far my favourite (and possibly my man’s too!) due to its versatility.  Yes, you read that correctly.  It’s function is two-fold.

1. It works really well as a traditional lube – no tingly feeling.  This made sex extra interesting as my man couldn’t resist the gorgeous smell so went to town licking it all off of me before slowly (and very easily and comfortably with no pain – always something to avoid with anal play) and smoothly entering me.

2. I reckon it can double up as a food source – my man actually spread extra lube over my back just to lick it off.  Apparently it really tastes like pina colada!

2 in 1 massage mousse

Durex describes this as ‘fun, squirty, luxuriously creamy and beautifully sensuous on the skin. It’s light, non-sticky, non-drip and non-greasy too. Perfect!’

I have to agree.  We used this in a completely non-sexual way.  Ok, I was naked, but that just makes massages easier and even better.  We have yet to try it as a lube, but if it’s performance as a massage mousse is anything it go by we only have high expectations.  It was quite sweet smelling and definitely a unique texture compared to your normal massage oils.  We love it.

Well done Durex.

How ‘New guy’ went from lust object, to fuck buddy, to out of my life….

Long title, I know.  It should actually read: How ‘New guy’ went from lust object, to fuck buddy, to friend, to me-realising-he’s-a-waste-of-my-time.

Things were going well: the sex was great, and when we were together I felt appreciated and included in his life.  I had been introduced to friends, and as we worked in similar fields it was great to talk to someone who knew what i was rambling on about.  Reading back on this last paragraph, all these qualities, except the ‘sex being great’ quality, identifies a friend.

As the long distance and our work prevented us spending greater periods of time apart, we relied on emails, texts and phone calls for communication.  But even after a while I would go days, sometimes a week or more without hearing from him!  This brought back my old feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.

Thanks to a few wonderful friends, I realised this wasn’t actually a relationship.  If we met up one weekend every two months, that was just friends with benefits.  There was no basis for any real emotions to be going on, and I had entered the realm of friendship (with sex) instead of an intense, passionate relationship.  I cut to the chase and told him that if he wanted to continue seeing me (albeit sparsely) he should make an effort to communicate more.

I got a reply at 1am the next morning saying he didn’t get in from work until 11pm and was tired and going to bed.  How else to take this?  I suggested we remain friends.  Which is what we’d wound our way to being in the end.

However, I was happy that we still chatted.  I was grateful for his advice on how to handle office politics and just the general chit-chat.  I actually thought I’d managed to do something that had previously eluded me – keep a ex as a friend.  All this changed when I told him I was dating someone new.  He went a bit, well….weird and made a sarcastic comment on it and proceeded to compeltely ignore me.

How to lose a guy, even as a friend, in a few easy steps.