LS ponders…

August 16, 2009

Is there any place or person that accepts donations of unwanted sex toys?

Moving house has meant I needed to sort through a lot of things, and it came to my attention that some toys in my goodie drawer just don’t get a look-in anymore.  And it seems such a waste for them to sit there, unused and unwanted, taking up precious space in my new house.  

But changing the subject of donating none-sex toys, is anyone willing to accept donations of the following:

  • One copy of Sex 365
  • One copy of SuperSex card deck by Tracey Cox
  • One copy of Wicked Words 4?

I will return with juicy tales of illicit encounters, and cautious tales, to make you think.  I have an idea which ones will be more enticing.

I say part 1, as we only managed to get through 2 of them – the two being Play and Heat.  The lovely people at Durex also sent Pina Colada, Cherry and Tingle, which hopefully we will get round to (but this requires a separate post on relationship-type stuff).  So here goes:


I have tried this before, both with William and with other people (although that wasn’t always strictly for sexual purposes!), but in the interests of science, we tried it again, to be fair.  William got straight into it: he went down on me, to warm me up, before lubing up one finger and sliding it into my very wet sex.  This was very pleasurable: there was no discomfort (sometimes I get this if I’m not ‘prepped’ enough) and it had a silky feel to it.  He then lubed up another finger, and proceeded to probe at my anus, before oh-so-easily sliding in, whilst still sliding a finger in and out of my vagina and licking my clit to oblivion.  The feeling was incredible, not only because he’d done all this in practically no time at all with hardly any easing me into it, but it actually felt good.  So good, that I came all over his face.

Very good Durex!


Heat was second on the list, so I decided to return the favour, after I’d suitably overcome my light-headedness.  I decided a hand job was in order.  I don’t very often give these: they are labourious, and it takes William a while to come even if he’s doing it, so I don’t have a hope in hell.  Also, I get very, well, worried I’m doing it wrong.  But all this was put aside, caution was thrown into the wind, and I lubed up the palms of my hands with Heat and started to give the hand job of my life: long, up and down strokes, with intervals spent just playing with the head, and sometimes using both hands.  I was leaning over him, so I took matters into my own, well, breasts, and thrust his throbbing cock between them.  I grabbed my breasts and simulated what my hands had previously done.  Now, neither of us could feel any heat that we weren’t generating ourselves, so I stopped what I was doing temporally and got William to read the instructions.

Ohhh, you’re meant to blow on it to activate it.  I see.  Back to hand job.  

‘Can you feel that?’, as I gave a new meaning to the phrase ‘blow job’

‘Er…not really…’ came the reply.

Hmph.  I decided to test it out myself.  If I blew onto my palms, which were coated in lube, I could feel the heat, not the usual coolness you get when you blow on yourself.  So the lube does work.  It’s just selective.

Wicked way

November 1, 2008

Now I’m not going to divulge who this was with. A prize though, for whoever guesses correctly:

Him: “Morning. Thanks for the earlier comment, was feeling a bit down, better now. How’s uni life? Wanna come live here?”

Me: “That might be an idea! What was up with you anyway?”

Him: “Posh people suck. There’s room in my castle for you, very reasonable rates”

Me: “How reasonable? I’ve heard castles can be draughty. Get back to work, lazy!”

Him: “The rates involve performing tasks for me”

Me: “Like cooking and cleaning?”

Him: “Cooking, cleaning, sexual favours…”

Me: “Are you being a naughty boy?”

Him: “Well, you know me, I have a hard time being good. Are you texting in your lecture you bad girl?”

Me: “No I am not! I’m a good girl. Can’t you find anyone where you are to enslave?”

Him: “Personally I thought you’d enjoy the slavery 😉 what will convince you?”

Me: “Send me a picture of something I like to convince me”

Him: “Ice cream?”

Me: “No! But that’s a good idea for later, keep it in mind”

Him: “How about the sexypants?”

[Sends picture message of him in nothing but his boxers, along with “off in the shower now, pleasant thoughts :)”]

Him: “Have you thought about us having a shower together so we’re both wet and naked?”

Me: “I have, but I won’t tell you what I’ve got in mind just yet….”

Him: “Does it involve me pushing you up against the cool tiles after you’ve had a hot shower? Either way round, I don’t mind!”

Me: “Sounds good. Trying to decide which side I want to get hot first. But that’ll be after I’ve dropped to my knees and given you a blow job”

Him: “You do surprise me! I’m thinking behind first, so I can press your big, wet tits against the wall while I slide into you from behind”

Me: “You love it when I go down on you, so don’t be shocked! But I’m not going to let you come. That definitely sounds like the best position….”

Him: “I do love it, especially standing up. Not going to let me come then? What else have you got planned?”

Me: “I thought I was the slave here, subject to your every demand? Shall I bring the handcuffs?”

Him: “I wouldn’t mind bossing you about, but I need some direction. What do you want me to do?”

Me: “Not that I need persuasion, but I want to be made to lick and suck your cock. Then I want you to withhold sliding it into me, even if I beg you too”

Him: “And just when you’ve given up hope, I’ll fuck your brains out. Where do you want me to come though?”

Me: “So many options….you’re in charge, you decide, just as long as it isn’t my hair!”

Him: “I love coming in your mouth, but coming inside of you is a close second. You make it sound like there are so many choices, how much porn have you been watching?!”

Me: “Enough. I wouldn’t mind making you come in my mouth. First time anyway”

Him: “If I’m fucking you from behind in the shower, it could go everywhere, all over your ass, your back….”

Me: “Good job we’re in a shower then! There’s in my mouth, my breasts and stomach, my back, in my pussy and in my ass….you decide!”

Him: “I’m sure you’ll make me come enough for one of each. I’ll definitely be fucking you in the ass at some point in the night, if you want it”

Me: “I do want it. I may have to relinquish my role as slave and boss you about though”

Him: “Are you going to take control and ride my cock? What else are you going to boss me about for?”

Me: “I’ll use those chains of yours and have my wicked way with you”

Him: “You’re going to tie me down? Can’t wait, I bet your wicked way is awesome”.


May 16, 2008

My mother came over to visit me yesterday evening, and she decided she was going to take some washing home to save me doing it (I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather this week, so household chores were the last thing on my mind). So whilst she was trying to find my spare towels, before I could stop her she stumbled across my secret goodie under-the-bed box thingy, containing erotica, kama sutra, handcuffs, whips, eyemasks, sex toys, the lot

She didn’t say anything and just pushed it backed under the bed.

Preference Meme

May 2, 2008

  • Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?
  • Definetly at night. I don’t like mornings, as my hair is all over the place, my skin looks terrible and need to get up to brush teeth. And Barry is always grumpy in the mornings, it takes him at least 2 hours to ‘wake up’ and start forming sentences as opposed to grunts. Night sex is better cause its a way to de-stess and there’s not the ‘oh no, I have to be in lectures in an hour!’ mad panic. You can take your time.

    • Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Video?

     Naughty pics.  For starters, I don’t own a videocamcorder thingy, and trying to film everything on mobile phone would get tricky…who would hold it?!  Besides, pics are much better when you’re away from significant other and can tease them with just a picture of your body

    • Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?

    Now, I like lights off.  Your eyes adjust to the darkness and you can see things really well and it means you’re gonna use your other senses more.  But lights on is good, if it’s soft lighting, makes your skin all radiant 🙂

    • Word preference: Pussy or Cunt?

     Pussy, definetly.  Cunt just seems a horrible word to me.  Maybe because where I come from, chavs regularily shout it at people they’re trying to insult.  Takes the shine off it, don’t you think?

    • Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?

     Only during sex.  I’ve yet to get Barry to do this, considerate lover that he is, he doesn’t want to hurt me.  It’s on my to-do list:  Make Barry see that a little spanking is good

    • Word preference: Cock or Dick?

     Cock, always.  Mmmm….see how it just rolls off the tongue (haha) and instantly makes you think of long, hard, thick, throbbing male members, dying to be licked and sucked and kissed…..sorry.  Back to the point.  I once went out with a right prick, who’s name could also be shortened to Dick (no prizes for guessing what his name was).  And now that word reminds me of him, not hard, gorgeous cocks begging to licked into a frenzy

    • Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?

     Erm….tape?  I like handcuffs and silk scarves and neither of them are there, but I have used PVC body tape before, so I’ll plump for that option.

    • Give a Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?

     I’m greedy, so it has to be receiving anal sex.  I miss it sooooo much.  Barry is too huge for me though, it hurts.  And while it’s hurting I know that there’s so much more we could be doing that doesn’t hurt.  For the time being, I’m very pleased with my double ended dildo

    • Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?

     The former, as you can’t guarantee you’d end up with a nice celeb.  You could end up with Pete Doherty.  So stripping.  Being as I already do pole dancing, I’m half way there

    • Which threesome: Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?

     Oooooo….this is tough.  I’ve always had a fantasy of a Boy/Boy/Girl threesome (hence the double ended dildo I own), cause I would love having two blokes at the same time.  One underneath taking me up the arse, the other on top of me facing me pounding my pussy.  Although I’ve fantasised about havig sex with a woman (and I’m working on that), I don’t think I’d be happy sharing my bloke with another woman.  My bloke sharing me with another man is fine.  But I’d get jealous if another woman come onto my turf.  So the boy/boy/girl threesome it is! 

    • Flavored Oil or Tingling Oil?

     Depends on the make cause the Durex ones are terrible.  They don’t work.  The O’My ones do however, so if someone’s offerring me those ones, I’d say both 😀

    • Pearl Necklace or Swallow?

     Swallow.  In all honesty I like how it tastes.  And I feel like I’ve done a good ‘job’ if my man is coming in my mouth, and I think he likes it when I shallow.  Kinda like he’s being dominant: You will shallow what I give you.  Yummy

    • Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex with a Stranger?

     Sex while strangers watch, cause you never know where the stranger has been before, and you don’t want to catch something nasty do you?

    • Tied to the Bed or Tied to a St. Andrew’s Cross?

     Tied/handcuffed to a bed.  It’s comfy, and you can always go to sleep (kidding!)

    I may have rambled on for a while, lost in my sexual fantasies.  Hope they amused you 😉 I tag wickedbed next!

    Date night

    April 24, 2008

    Sunday is date night!

    I have been told I do not have to ‘dress up’, but if I do, it’ll be very much appreciated 🙂 so I intend to wear my gorgeous badydoll and some leg avenue stockings. Maybe. I may change my mind.

    I don’t care. I’m seeing my Barry! I’ve been so lonely today, it’s like a light at the end of the tunnel

    Perfect end to a terrible week


    March 27, 2008

    Phone sex maketh long distance relationships

    Ok, so here’s what to do!

    ♦ Write your own six word memoir
    ♦ Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
    ♦ Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
    ♦ Tag five more blogs with links
    ♦ And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play

    Thanks to Elkie for the picture

     I tag Always Aroused Girl next!