Change of scenery

November 4, 2010

It’s very difficult to have sex at your parents house.  The possible discovery of the two of you mid-coitus is terrifying.  Or at least, it should be.  Occam and myself found it quite exhilarating, the prospect of being walked in on made it all the more kinky: it was naughty, we shouldn’t have been doing it there, it was bad.  But oh-so-good.

So this got me to thinking (in a Carrie Bradshaw fashion) about moving things out of the bedroom, and into more exciting places:

1. Your backyard.  Not very kinky,I hear you say?  Well, I figured if you’ve never had outdoor sex before, this is a good place to start.  You’re still on your property, and can run inside if you get cold feet (both literally and metaphorically).  But wouldn’t it be tres cute if you bumped uglies under the stars? 🙂

2. In a hot tub/jacuzzi/bath.  I can vouch for this one personally.  The water acts as a sort-of lubricant, so how’s about adding a little anal play while you’re at it?

3. Off the beaten track in the woods.  But take a map so you don’t get too lost.

4. The car, in a secluded spot.  I would like to other a few tips on this: make sure it’s a big car  (not a Ford Ka).  You want aches that make you remember your steamy session, not aches that mean you can’t sit up properly for two days.  Also, make sure it’s in a very secluded spot.  I have heard stories about peeping Toms that would make you cringe.

5. A nightclub, to a certain extent.  Now, there are still a few fetish nightclubs about in the big cities (London, Birmingham at least) for you and your lover to pop along and get very frisky and then take the sex home.  Remember, sex in public is illegal.

And a few places to not have sex:

1. Your office/place of work.  You run the risk of being fired.  Not cool.

2. The beach.  I don’t need to tell you about the exfoliating properties of sand.  Do you want that in those places?  Also, beaches contain a lot of faecal matter, so I really wouldn’t recommend it.

3. A graveyard.  Just too creepy and a little bit wrong.

So take these into consideration and explore a change of scenery.  Your sex life will love it.

This second post is about the myriad of products that Durex have sent me over the last few months.


First up is from the new range of ‘Feeling’ condoms from Durex, called Deluxe.  They are described as ‘the Diamond standard in thinness’, which is meant to offer you and your partner extra added closeness and new sensations.

When Occam first opened the packet, we were both initially impressed by the superior packaging, and intrigued by the ‘micro fine’ condoms within.  We hoped these would be as mind blowing as Durex suggested.  Unfortunately, as soon Occam entered me I wasn’t immediately impressed: the condom felt very un-lubricated, which produced a slightly ‘wooden’ feeling.  Worried that we’d just come across a slightly dodgy condom, we tried another one, but this too produced the same feeling.  Again, I could feel the condom moving as Occam moved, and it was a sensation I didn’t really wish to feel.  And at £9.99 for just 5 condoms, I ‘feel’ that you should try other products in this range….

Real Feel

Apparently these condoms contain RealFeel material, giving a natural skin-on-skin feeling.  After using the Deluxe condoms, Occam and myself were a bit skeptical, but obviously open to trying new things 😉

I think the only way I can review these is to say simply that we loved them so much we’re making them our mainstay choice of condom.  They really do feel great, and do feel like there is no condom there, so it’s like making skin-on-skin contact – this is where the Deluxe condom failed.  They don’t need any extra lube, they are non-latex (crucial to know if you’re allergic) and while they give great pleasure they also don’t feel so thin that they might break at any moment.  Always an added bonus.

This pack contains ten condoms, and costs £9.95 for the pack, which is much better value than the Deluxe condoms straightaway.  Add the fact that these are, by far, the best condoms either myself or Occam have ever used, and you can go ahead and add that they are also spankingly awesome too.

Play Sweet Strawberry

I’m very picky about lubes.  I find that any of these special edition flavours tend to irritate me…..down there.  Not pleasant, and it definitely takes the fun out of what’s meant to be a very pleasurable experience.  Don’t get me wrong – flavoured lubes come to the rescue if you hate the taste of condoms when giving your man a blow job (although I do prefer sans condom).  But I find it difficult to not have some sort of irritation with any lube apart from KY Jelly.

Anywho, just recently I’ve had a few problems (I won’t go into it and put a downer on things) which have meant that I’ve required the use of lube to just have even the most vanilla of sex.  Role up Durex Play Sweet Strawberry.  Let’s see what you’ve got.

I was instantly impressed by the fact it was strawberry – why wasn’t this done sooner?  Why go for the exotic (and perhaps run the risk of a lot of people being put off by) flavours, such as Pina Colada?  Strawberry is loved by practically everyone, and especially during Wimbledon (which was when this lube was launched).

We’ve only tried this once, and I think it’s definitely my favourite of the Play range of lubes.  Occam may take more convincing, purely because he’s one of the few people who don’t like strawberries.

Anyway, this lube does exactly what it says on the tin.  It’s a good lubricant, it didn’t cause me any irritation, both during sex and anal.  It tastes alright…..but I’d personally rather use it purely as a means of lubricant during anal, rather than as a supplement to my giving a blow job.

Play Massage Melts

Last, but not least, we have the 2 in 1 massage melts, so called because they can act as massage oil and lubricant.  There are six pods to each pack, and for £6.99 I think this is a reasonable price to pay if you want something different to your conventional lube.  For this product is not your standard lube!  These nifty little pods can be put in the freezer and left till they are like ice cubes.  Then you can pop one out and enjoy the lovely tingly sensation!

Occam and myself took this a little further: I was very intrigued about how these would feel in more intimate places.  So one night we tried sticking one of the frozen cubes in my ass.  This tingled a lot, and not in a good way.  But as it melted it provided a good lubricant, which meant easier anal sex 😉 Another night Occam put a frozen cube up my pussy.  That felt delicious.  And the sex afterwards was amazing (we also used the ‘Real Feel’ condoms, as mentioned above, so it was doubly awesome!).

Should you buy these?  Yes!

I have a multitude of reviews lined up for you, dear readers.  I’m going to split them into two posts, based on where the products came from.  The first part of my mega review session is all about Love Honey.  Occam recently bought me three items from this site:

Bondage Boutique Xtreme Collar

Occam bought me this one in red, and I have to say, on first impressions I really liked this.  I was really impressed it was actually leather, especially at this reasonable price (£28.99).  It just smacked of kink, and couldn’t wait to get home and parade around wearing it.  I was a little concerned that it would be too wide and I’d end up permanently looking up at the ceiling for the rest of the night, but this was a silly assumption.  The only problem I had with this was that it was too big for my neck!  There’s a buckle fastening at the back (this isn’t uncomfortable either), but unfortunately, even on the tightest setting this was still too big.  Maybe it would be a good suggestion to state the size, or, even better, offer different sizes!

But there’s a major bonus for buying bondage gear from LoveHoney at the moment:  they send out a ‘loyality card’, where you collect tokens with every bondage purchase.  Collect ten tokens and you get one free spanker, or carry on and collect 15 tokens to get two free spankers.  And LoveHoney give you two tokens for free!  Given that there’s a huge selection of bondage gear on the site, getting this many tokens isn’t going to be difficult.

I ended up wearing this collar with this:

Dreamgirl Red Diamond Strapped Babydoll

Oh good Lord.  How sexy is that?!  I was itching to get it on (hoping I’d end up looking like the model!).  This is made by Dreamgirl, a brand I’ve come across before, and really liked, but have always been cautious about the seemingly high prices for very little material!  Hence why I think that although this is lovely, and looks great on, I really wouldn’t pay £24.99 for it.

But more on how this looked good on, in case price isn’t an issue for you.  This dress come in one size only, which apparently will fit sizes 8-18.  I was very skeptical at how this could work but this fabric is very stretchy but is also flattering.  Because the fabric is mesh, and the dress is a halter neck, this really lifts your boobs up, meaning there’s no need for a bra, even for the most well endowed lady!

Occam had also bought me something else to go underneath this:

Cupid’s Itty Bitty Beginner’s Butt Plug

Occam bought me this as an extra present, as it was reasonably inexpensive (£8.99).  My immediate thoughts were that it was quite cute!  Very smooth and soft, this was easy to fit into my bum hole underneath the babydoll.  The main reason Occam got this was so I could essentially be double penetrated, which is a huge fantasy for me.  So when Occam entered me (butt plug in, babydoll on, collar strapped around my neck) it felt incredible.  And then *pop!*  The butt plug fell out.  After multiple attempts we concluded that this butt plug is great for beginners new to anal play, but not those who have anal sex on a (semi-) regular basis.   However, this could be a ‘starter’ butt plug, to just ease your bum hole a little before enjoying anal sex – one of the reviewers on LoveHoney had said that she wears it all day long!

I hope you’ve found this part of my review session helpful – the next part, on Durex products, will be put up the end of the week.

Durex review – part 2

March 9, 2010

Now I have a permanent lust-object in my grasp who seems to be kinky, or as willing to be as kinky, as me I decided to let him (who needs a name by the way) have a peek inside my sex drawer.  He was impressed.  He was also incredibly shocked by the amount of lube I had amassed – mainly due to Durex giving me freebies.  He enquired as to how one person could need so much lube, and I merely said it was due being very lucky in getting free samples.

So here’s our varied review:


We didn’t exactly waste any time in trying out two of the samples.  Let me paint you a picture: myself, kneeling on the floor, bent over the edge of the bed.  Him kneeling behind me pouring lube onto my naked behind.  He rubbed the lube all over my buttocks, before dipping a finger into my bum hole.  At first, it felt good.  All I would have needed him to do was to reach round with his other hand and start rubbing my clit and I’d be on my way to a stellar orgasm.  But then the tingle lube did what it does best – tingle.

Although it says on the label ‘suitable for oral, anal and penetrative sex’ I really would not recommend it for anal sex.  Feeling your insides tingling does distract you away from any object that may be entering you – which could be a good thing – but it distracts you from feeling anything else – which is bad.  You can’t begin to feel good about what your man’s doing to make you feel like a goddess as your head is just going ‘this is weeeiiirrdd’.  Perhaps the tingle lubricant would be best suited to hand jobs.

Pina colada

Much better and can be used for practically anything.  This is by far my favourite (and possibly my man’s too!) due to its versatility.  Yes, you read that correctly.  It’s function is two-fold.

1. It works really well as a traditional lube – no tingly feeling.  This made sex extra interesting as my man couldn’t resist the gorgeous smell so went to town licking it all off of me before slowly (and very easily and comfortably with no pain – always something to avoid with anal play) and smoothly entering me.

2. I reckon it can double up as a food source – my man actually spread extra lube over my back just to lick it off.  Apparently it really tastes like pina colada!

2 in 1 massage mousse

Durex describes this as ‘fun, squirty, luxuriously creamy and beautifully sensuous on the skin. It’s light, non-sticky, non-drip and non-greasy too. Perfect!’

I have to agree.  We used this in a completely non-sexual way.  Ok, I was naked, but that just makes massages easier and even better.  We have yet to try it as a lube, but if it’s performance as a massage mousse is anything it go by we only have high expectations.  It was quite sweet smelling and definitely a unique texture compared to your normal massage oils.  We love it.

Well done Durex.

I say part 1, as we only managed to get through 2 of them – the two being Play and Heat.  The lovely people at Durex also sent Pina Colada, Cherry and Tingle, which hopefully we will get round to (but this requires a separate post on relationship-type stuff).  So here goes:


I have tried this before, both with William and with other people (although that wasn’t always strictly for sexual purposes!), but in the interests of science, we tried it again, to be fair.  William got straight into it: he went down on me, to warm me up, before lubing up one finger and sliding it into my very wet sex.  This was very pleasurable: there was no discomfort (sometimes I get this if I’m not ‘prepped’ enough) and it had a silky feel to it.  He then lubed up another finger, and proceeded to probe at my anus, before oh-so-easily sliding in, whilst still sliding a finger in and out of my vagina and licking my clit to oblivion.  The feeling was incredible, not only because he’d done all this in practically no time at all with hardly any easing me into it, but it actually felt good.  So good, that I came all over his face.

Very good Durex!


Heat was second on the list, so I decided to return the favour, after I’d suitably overcome my light-headedness.  I decided a hand job was in order.  I don’t very often give these: they are labourious, and it takes William a while to come even if he’s doing it, so I don’t have a hope in hell.  Also, I get very, well, worried I’m doing it wrong.  But all this was put aside, caution was thrown into the wind, and I lubed up the palms of my hands with Heat and started to give the hand job of my life: long, up and down strokes, with intervals spent just playing with the head, and sometimes using both hands.  I was leaning over him, so I took matters into my own, well, breasts, and thrust his throbbing cock between them.  I grabbed my breasts and simulated what my hands had previously done.  Now, neither of us could feel any heat that we weren’t generating ourselves, so I stopped what I was doing temporally and got William to read the instructions.

Ohhh, you’re meant to blow on it to activate it.  I see.  Back to hand job.  

‘Can you feel that?’, as I gave a new meaning to the phrase ‘blow job’

‘Er…not really…’ came the reply.

Hmph.  I decided to test it out myself.  If I blew onto my palms, which were coated in lube, I could feel the heat, not the usual coolness you get when you blow on yourself.  So the lube does work.  It’s just selective.

My gift to you

March 17, 2009


Yes, I know this is waaaaay overdue…but, y’know….been busy and stuff.

In the February edition of Scarlet, there was a cut-out-and-keep double page spread of promises one could make to their beloved on Valentine’s Day.  Perfect, I thought:  thrifty (well, you have to be in the current climate), a chance to show my creative side, and it’s technically a present for both of us.

So I cut out the pages and made them into little business card-like promises.  I selected the ones I wanted, of course:  I wasn’t particularly keen on the ‘I will call up my friend and we can indulge in a threesome’.

Even though I’d selected about 10 promises, I knew which one he would pick above the rest.

I made him close his eyes and sit on the bed.  Opening the palm of one of his hands, I rested the pack of cards in his hand and told him to open his eyes.  The look on his face was like a child at Christmas that has just opened the present he’d been wanting for months.  He read all the cards thoroughly, still with a grin on his face, before saying “I’ve picked one”.  Like I said, I knew which one it was going to be.  I made him read it out.

“We will have a soapy shower together, and when I am ready, you will insert one finger into my sweet hole.  When I am wet enough, I will get the lube and cover your cock in it before plunging it into my ass.”

Having him read this out made me want him so much, I was not satisfied with kissing his neck: I had to bite down on his neck and ears, whilst running my hands down his back, digging fingernails into his buttocks to pull him that little bit closer to me.

“I think we should have the shower after” he decided.

“That’s fine” I replied, as I was quite happy with the position he was in at the moment.  I pulled him on top of me.  The thought of what was to come had made him hard; so hard, in fact, it was almost painful as he rocked back and forth between my legs.  The friction of our bodies rubbing against each other meant that, although still fully clothed, I was peaking towards orgasm already.  Much biting and nail-clawing ensued, as I grew closer and closer to what I wanted.  As I came, I gave out a moan, unstifled:  I didn’t see why I should concern myself with what other people thought when I was experiencing something so utterly sexy.

As I lay, basking in my post-orgasmic glow, William was still unsatisfied:  he started stripping my down, removing my items of clothing one by one, before helping me up out of bed to standing, where I was rewarded for my sheer laziness by a strong embrace, and a powerful kiss.  Still relaxed from my orgasm, I was slow to remove his clothing, but his constant kissing, biting and nuzzling of my neck, and practically any flesh he could find, aroused me further.  I remembered what he wanted to do to me, and this perked me up even more.  I produced the bottle of lube as he put on the condom.

He started teasing me with lubed-up fingers from behind: as I was bent over my bed, with him behind me, I could feel his fingers move in and out of me, but it didn’t feel unpleasant.  I was enjoying it, and wanted more.  So William lubed up his cock, which was still painfully hard, and gently pushed into me.  Unlike previous times when I’ve tried anal, I didn’t feel stuffed.  This time, I felt relaxed and was actually enjoying it!  

William reached round with one hand to rub my clit, sometimes dipping the tip of his fingers into my soaking wet pussy.  He lifted me up, so I was standing up and pressed against him, still with him thrusting in and out of me.  When neither of us could stand anymore, he told me to lie on the floor, on all fours, as he entered me from behind again.  The forcefulness of his thrusts had me lying down completely, my moans this time stifled by the carpet, as he gave my arsehole the fucking of its life.  This didn’t hurt, as he had lubed up well beforehand.  But neither did it make me come.  This was slightly disappointing, but as William came himself, I was satisfied that he was satisfied.  I was happy we had managed to do anal without me protesting that it hurt too much.  And there’s always next time!

We lay on the floor of my room, him on top of me, for some time while we both caught our breathe back.  He pulled out of me and disposed of the condom, and I planted small kisses running up from his neck to his lips.

“Shower?” I asked, as my arse was covered in lube, and we were both a little hot and bothered.

I have to say, I think the shower was the most romantic part of the night:  giving each other a scrub down with nice smelling shower gel, washing each others hair, and then finally washing away the soap suds by holding each other and kissing underneath the shower. 

Not quite a tropical waterfall, but it’s good enough for us.


March 1, 2009

Looking at which positions me and William tried out this month, I have to say…it seems quite boring!  I haven’t seen very well (I may write a post about it when I get a final outcome on what it actually is, as it’s something that’s an interest of mine), so that has knocked two weeks here and there last month out of our possible-sex-time.  So the theme for this month seems to be variations on the missionary position: who’d have thought you could have variations on it?  Well, here’s a few.

img_0414The half-pounder: good for him as he can thrust hard, and chances are he will come before you.  But the higher the woman’s knees, the more pleasurable it is for her.  Although I found, as lithe as I am, I couldn’t hold my knees up high (see picture below) for long!

img_04173This is the ‘You’ve Pulled!’ move, as with the woman’s legs wrapped around the man’s hips, she can pull him in closer.  It’s a nice move, as it provides more contact of his body onto your clit, but my hips didn’t like this move and had to go back to the following move:


The Easy-Peasy: this is the original missionary position!  An old favourite, one could say, as it is usually guaranteed to get you off.  Although, I found that after a few mintues, I wanted to go back to something more adventurous:

img_0416The Hangover Cure:  I don’t know why it’s called that but hey, this is a good move!  Not particularly great for intimacy, as you feel like you’re pushig him away with your legs, but it does allow deep thrusting.  And it’s a excellent position for anal sex, too.

William pointed out the other night that we haven’t had much ‘variety’ this month, and I have to agree with him.  But flicking through my bible that is the book of sex moves, I can think of a few that are definitely adventurous for tonight!