This second post is about the myriad of products that Durex have sent me over the last few months.

Deluxe

First up is from the new range of ‘Feeling’ condoms from Durex, called Deluxe.  They are described as ‘the Diamond standard in thinness’, which is meant to offer you and your partner extra added closeness and new sensations.

When Occam first opened the packet, we were both initially impressed by the superior packaging, and intrigued by the ‘micro fine’ condoms within.  We hoped these would be as mind blowing as Durex suggested.  Unfortunately, as soon Occam entered me I wasn’t immediately impressed: the condom felt very un-lubricated, which produced a slightly ‘wooden’ feeling.  Worried that we’d just come across a slightly dodgy condom, we tried another one, but this too produced the same feeling.  Again, I could feel the condom moving as Occam moved, and it was a sensation I didn’t really wish to feel.  And at £9.99 for just 5 condoms, I ‘feel’ that you should try other products in this range….

Real Feel

Apparently these condoms contain RealFeel material, giving a natural skin-on-skin feeling.  After using the Deluxe condoms, Occam and myself were a bit skeptical, but obviously open to trying new things 😉

I think the only way I can review these is to say simply that we loved them so much we’re making them our mainstay choice of condom.  They really do feel great, and do feel like there is no condom there, so it’s like making skin-on-skin contact – this is where the Deluxe condom failed.  They don’t need any extra lube, they are non-latex (crucial to know if you’re allergic) and while they give great pleasure they also don’t feel so thin that they might break at any moment.  Always an added bonus.

This pack contains ten condoms, and costs £9.95 for the pack, which is much better value than the Deluxe condoms straightaway.  Add the fact that these are, by far, the best condoms either myself or Occam have ever used, and you can go ahead and add that they are also spankingly awesome too.

Play Sweet Strawberry

I’m very picky about lubes.  I find that any of these special edition flavours tend to irritate me…..down there.  Not pleasant, and it definitely takes the fun out of what’s meant to be a very pleasurable experience.  Don’t get me wrong – flavoured lubes come to the rescue if you hate the taste of condoms when giving your man a blow job (although I do prefer sans condom).  But I find it difficult to not have some sort of irritation with any lube apart from KY Jelly.

Anywho, just recently I’ve had a few problems (I won’t go into it and put a downer on things) which have meant that I’ve required the use of lube to just have even the most vanilla of sex.  Role up Durex Play Sweet Strawberry.  Let’s see what you’ve got.

I was instantly impressed by the fact it was strawberry – why wasn’t this done sooner?  Why go for the exotic (and perhaps run the risk of a lot of people being put off by) flavours, such as Pina Colada?  Strawberry is loved by practically everyone, and especially during Wimbledon (which was when this lube was launched).

We’ve only tried this once, and I think it’s definitely my favourite of the Play range of lubes.  Occam may take more convincing, purely because he’s one of the few people who don’t like strawberries.

Anyway, this lube does exactly what it says on the tin.  It’s a good lubricant, it didn’t cause me any irritation, both during sex and anal.  It tastes alright…..but I’d personally rather use it purely as a means of lubricant during anal, rather than as a supplement to my giving a blow job.

Play Massage Melts

Last, but not least, we have the 2 in 1 massage melts, so called because they can act as massage oil and lubricant.  There are six pods to each pack, and for £6.99 I think this is a reasonable price to pay if you want something different to your conventional lube.  For this product is not your standard lube!  These nifty little pods can be put in the freezer and left till they are like ice cubes.  Then you can pop one out and enjoy the lovely tingly sensation!

Occam and myself took this a little further: I was very intrigued about how these would feel in more intimate places.  So one night we tried sticking one of the frozen cubes in my ass.  This tingled a lot, and not in a good way.  But as it melted it provided a good lubricant, which meant easier anal sex 😉 Another night Occam put a frozen cube up my pussy.  That felt delicious.  And the sex afterwards was amazing (we also used the ‘Real Feel’ condoms, as mentioned above, so it was doubly awesome!).

Should you buy these?  Yes!

Introductions

June 17, 2010

We met at uni – the first conversation we had resulted in him insulting me.  Not in a ‘damn, you’re ugly’ way; it was meant in a teasing way, but due to the subject of the comment, which is something I’m very protective of, it came across as an insult.  Not a good start, but a memorable one.

His comments on subject matters were somewhat interesting.  They made me think he was an arrogant, obnoxious git.  But, on the opposite end of the scale, he was also lovely, on occasion.  When I was having a crisis printing off some work for a deadline, he went out of his way to help out until it was sorted.  Hmmm.  I was having a dilemma.  Here was a guy whose views were very Tory-upper class-let’s ship all the immigrants back home….and yet I was strangely attracted to him.  I couldn’t stop thinking about him.  He annoyed me for just making me think about him.

I confided in friends about this and I was persuaded to get up off my backside and decide whether I really liked him or not, and if I did, to do something about it!  Over the Christmas holidays I thought about him more often.  I decided to do something about it.

How though? I’m as nervous as a mouse when it comes to asking guys out.  There’s this overwhelming fear of rejection.  But I asked him.  And he said yes.

When I asked him, my heart was pounding in my chest.  His face was one of shock – had I said something wrong?  Was he thinking of the best way to turn me down?  I quickly made my excuses, to save him uttering the words that would crush my hopes.  As I did, he suddenly appeared to re-animate, and reassured me that actually, yes, he would like to go out with me.

I left with a spring in my step, and quite literally, a song in my heart.  I felt as light as a feather.

He took me out a few days later and we had a lovely meal.  He walked me home and held me tightly as I walked in stupidly high heels over the ice on the pavements.  And then, when we got to my house, as the song goes, he kissed me.

We’ve been seeing each other for 5 months now, and I’ve introduced him as Occam.  There are more stories about our antics to come – I hope they prove to be an exciting read!

Valentine’s Day

March 11, 2010

Nearly a month later I am brave enough to go onto the Agent Provocateur website to get the pictures of my present, and almost certainly find out how much my present cost.  It’s not like I want to know, but it’s a by-product of blogging about my pressie.

This is what I was bought by my lovely man:

with the matching briefs.  They are incredibly sumptuous, and lovely to wear as the silk feels so soft and, well, silky against the skin.  And they came perfectly gift-wrapped!

I’ve just totted up the price in my head.

*Dies*

I know I shouldn’t have looked, but I wanted to share what fabulous lingerie I’d been bought!  I truly am lucky. And it just means I’ll make it up to him for peeking at the price tonight, most likely wearing this.

Long title, I know.  It should actually read: How ‘New guy’ went from lust object, to fuck buddy, to friend, to me-realising-he’s-a-waste-of-my-time.

Things were going well: the sex was great, and when we were together I felt appreciated and included in his life.  I had been introduced to friends, and as we worked in similar fields it was great to talk to someone who knew what i was rambling on about.  Reading back on this last paragraph, all these qualities, except the ‘sex being great’ quality, identifies a friend.

As the long distance and our work prevented us spending greater periods of time apart, we relied on emails, texts and phone calls for communication.  But even after a while I would go days, sometimes a week or more without hearing from him!  This brought back my old feelings of insecurity and worthlessness.

Thanks to a few wonderful friends, I realised this wasn’t actually a relationship.  If we met up one weekend every two months, that was just friends with benefits.  There was no basis for any real emotions to be going on, and I had entered the realm of friendship (with sex) instead of an intense, passionate relationship.  I cut to the chase and told him that if he wanted to continue seeing me (albeit sparsely) he should make an effort to communicate more.

I got a reply at 1am the next morning saying he didn’t get in from work until 11pm and was tired and going to bed.  How else to take this?  I suggested we remain friends.  Which is what we’d wound our way to being in the end.

However, I was happy that we still chatted.  I was grateful for his advice on how to handle office politics and just the general chit-chat.  I actually thought I’d managed to do something that had previously eluded me – keep a ex as a friend.  All this changed when I told him I was dating someone new.  He went a bit, well….weird and made a sarcastic comment on it and proceeded to compeltely ignore me.

How to lose a guy, even as a friend, in a few easy steps.

Xbox tips for dating

December 14, 2009

Whilst browsing the web, as you do when you’re procrastinating, I came across this blog post about an Xbox game that allows you to practise your skills of talking to girls.

Here’s my tip:

  • Start seeing your mates again.  Seriously.  Stop sitting, glued to the screen playing said Xbox, and talk to your mates.  Get some social interaction.  Then you’ll realise what’s socially acceptable in a conversation, and in doing so, you know how to talk to women.

We’re only human you know.  We aren’t an alien species that speaks a different language.  Strike up a conversation about anything, be it how you find the attack on Berlusconi terrible, or, perhaps more likely to get a response, your plans for New Year’s Eve.

Make it your pre-New Year’s resolution

Closure

October 21, 2009

In a recent meeting, me and William had a massive blow-out: about the break up, about the miscarriage, the works.  But afterwards, it seemed everything was all rosey again.  It seemed we could talk, as friends, and the newly acquired distance between us buffered this to ensure things stayed friendly and didn’t turn nasty or, as I was trying to avoid, didn’t move into the territory of talking about ‘us’ and the possibility of us again.

But the latter occurred, and the following conversations were about how he wanted either me to visit him for a weekend, or him to come up for a weekend.  My repeatedly saying ‘no’ to such an offer fell on deaf ears, until this weekend, when he said he would come up for the day, so we could get some closure.

Now, closure can be a strange thing: it means different things to different people.  To William, it means us having sex, and seeing what happens.  He believes that if this happens, one of two conclusions will be drawn:

  1. That we’ll think ‘that was nice, but we’re over each other’. Or
  2. That we’ll think ‘that was nice, let’s get back together’.

And apparently, there’s no other ‘suitable solution’ to us gaining closure.

I’m ashamed to say, it took me a while to realise what he was suggesting.  Not the sex part, that was obvious.  But the underlying theme to this scenario he’s described for me: that he just wants a shag.  Before realising this, I suggested that talking is suitable closure.  He replied, saying ‘yeah, talking can work.  Do you want to come visit me?’

So, when the prospect of sex was in his head, he was willing to visit me for his ‘closure’.  But now that’s off the cards, I have to travel nearly 100 miles to get closure suitable for me only.

Sod that. And now I’ve realised what he’s up to, I’ve said so.  I’m not looking forward to hearing his response, but by the same token, why should I care?

Scary

October 20, 2009

The new Agent Provocateur collection is called ‘Tarantula’:

Picture 3

Considering 50% of women, and only 10% of men suffer from arachnophobia, surely this was the wrong image to use to promote their latest range of lingerie?  I know it certainly makes me want to turn away!

Anyone agree?