Wicked way

November 1, 2008

Now I’m not going to divulge who this was with. A prize though, for whoever guesses correctly:

Him: “Morning. Thanks for the earlier comment, was feeling a bit down, better now. How’s uni life? Wanna come live here?”

Me: “That might be an idea! What was up with you anyway?”

Him: “Posh people suck. There’s room in my castle for you, very reasonable rates”

Me: “How reasonable? I’ve heard castles can be draughty. Get back to work, lazy!”

Him: “The rates involve performing tasks for me”

Me: “Like cooking and cleaning?”

Him: “Cooking, cleaning, sexual favours…”

Me: “Are you being a naughty boy?”

Him: “Well, you know me, I have a hard time being good. Are you texting in your lecture you bad girl?”

Me: “No I am not! I’m a good girl. Can’t you find anyone where you are to enslave?”

Him: “Personally I thought you’d enjoy the slavery 😉 what will convince you?”

Me: “Send me a picture of something I like to convince me”

Him: “Ice cream?”

Me: “No! But that’s a good idea for later, keep it in mind”

Him: “How about the sexypants?”

[Sends picture message of him in nothing but his boxers, along with “off in the shower now, pleasant thoughts :)”]

Him: “Have you thought about us having a shower together so we’re both wet and naked?”

Me: “I have, but I won’t tell you what I’ve got in mind just yet….”

Him: “Does it involve me pushing you up against the cool tiles after you’ve had a hot shower? Either way round, I don’t mind!”

Me: “Sounds good. Trying to decide which side I want to get hot first. But that’ll be after I’ve dropped to my knees and given you a blow job”

Him: “You do surprise me! I’m thinking behind first, so I can press your big, wet tits against the wall while I slide into you from behind”

Me: “You love it when I go down on you, so don’t be shocked! But I’m not going to let you come. That definitely sounds like the best position….”

Him: “I do love it, especially standing up. Not going to let me come then? What else have you got planned?”

Me: “I thought I was the slave here, subject to your every demand? Shall I bring the handcuffs?”

Him: “I wouldn’t mind bossing you about, but I need some direction. What do you want me to do?”

Me: “Not that I need persuasion, but I want to be made to lick and suck your cock. Then I want you to withhold sliding it into me, even if I beg you too”

Him: “And just when you’ve given up hope, I’ll fuck your brains out. Where do you want me to come though?”

Me: “So many options….you’re in charge, you decide, just as long as it isn’t my hair!”

Him: “I love coming in your mouth, but coming inside of you is a close second. You make it sound like there are so many choices, how much porn have you been watching?!”

Me: “Enough. I wouldn’t mind making you come in my mouth. First time anyway”

Him: “If I’m fucking you from behind in the shower, it could go everywhere, all over your ass, your back….”

Me: “Good job we’re in a shower then! There’s in my mouth, my breasts and stomach, my back, in my pussy and in my ass….you decide!”

Him: “I’m sure you’ll make me come enough for one of each. I’ll definitely be fucking you in the ass at some point in the night, if you want it”

Me: “I do want it. I may have to relinquish my role as slave and boss you about though”

Him: “Are you going to take control and ride my cock? What else are you going to boss me about for?”

Me: “I’ll use those chains of yours and have my wicked way with you”

Him: “You’re going to tie me down? Can’t wait, I bet your wicked way is awesome”.

Johnny

August 25, 2008

Is the most fantastic kisser ever. He’s the kind of man that gives you kisses that make you weak at the knees. The way one arm slips around my waist and the other runs through my hair to rest at the back of my head and he looks into my eyes before pulling me and kissing me. He has the most tender of kisses, yet with his arms pulling me closer to him, forceful at the same time.

In the end I decided to just tell him that I think he’s the most gorgeous, intelligent, funny, down right amazing guy, and that I’ve fancied from the first day I saw him, when he picked me up from reception. And he said he felt the same way, that he’s fancied me for ages, that he didn’t know how to tell me, being as he was technically my boss.

He’s still going away though, and he’s invited me to stay with him wherever he is on his travels when I have a break in my studies. I feel like I need to see him one last time, just to have a proper talk, just me and him, no one else around (that we know anyway). At this moment in time it doesn’t look likely, unless it’s for an hour or so stolen away from the rest of world.

Just one more kiss.

One more chance to have him wrap me in his arms.

Just one more truly fantastic, knee trembling kiss

Deep darkness

July 10, 2008

I mentioned earlier that other stuff has been going on in my life, deep, dark stuff. After my nan died, and Barry wasn’t there for me, I needed someone, anyone, so turned to counseling. I had about 3 months of counseling, and now I’ve been discharged (I like to think I’m now ‘sane’ lol). The reason for needing counseling was simply because I felt I had no one to turn to, and I’d never felt so down in my life before. The smallest thing would set me off.

Apart from learning to deal with my grief, one of the topics my counsellor went over was relationships (ideal timing, no?), past and present (initially I was still with Barry, but she made me realise that what he did was wrong, and although she didn’t force me, made me see sense as to Barry’s mentality to our relationship). The main relationship we focused on was my 21 month relationship with a man in my first years at uni. He won’t have an alias. I can’t bring myself to give him one. He can be given a ‘You-Know-Who’ alias, Harry Potter style.

So basically, I knew that he treated me like shit. He was violent on more than one occasion. I remember once we were in a public place and we were arguing because he wanted some money (something he always wanted, even though he had a job, and me living off of my student loan. I usually gave in) and I didn’t want to. He grabbed my neck and raised his fist telling me to shut up. This was in public, surrounded by people. No one came over and pulled him off of me or asked if I was ok, they just turned a blind eye. That’s when I the mentality set in that I deserved this. There was just one other time that he was violent, when he was angry at me for some reason, I don’t even know why, and he threw me into the car, seriously injuring my leg. The scars were still visible when I met Barry, several months after we had broken up.

He was devious. He used my weaknesses against me ‘in the name of love’. I don’t open up to people often, he is the reason why. I told him one of my deepest, darkest secrets, that I used to have bulimia, about 18 months into our relationship, which is when it started to unravel. He used this against me, telling me what I could and couldn’t eat, saying I was fat, and at times, actually starving me for anything up to 24 hours. It was literally torture.

Then there was the constant criticism: you’re stupid, you’re driving’s terrible, you look like crap, why haven’t you got more make-up on? Or, you have too much make-up on, you look like a slag. Or his favourite, telling me what to wear.

Even sex was more like a chore than an enjoyment. It was when he wanted it, how he wanted it, and if he finished before me, then that’s my problem.

Why didn’t I do something about it? Like I said, months of him working up to this, gnawing away at my self-confidence to the point where I thought I deserved this and this was what love is like and I couldn’t do any better. It wasn’t until he cheated on me that I stood up and paid attention. I knew I was better than this.

My counsellor looked as if she needed counselling after I finished! But in a way, telling her has made me realise that everything he did was a form of abuse, not just the odd violent attacks. It makes me sad to think I was so weak at one point. It’s also sad that any guy who pays me a compliment is instantly ‘a nice guy’ just by comparison. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing. A compliment is still a compliment.

So, this is my deepest darkest post I think. I message to anyone who reads it that abuse isn’t just a fist in the face.

It ended up being a very sensuous evening, involving easing away Barry’s aches and pains from sport related activities (he seems to be muscley-er since I last saw him – bonus!), for which require the de-robing of clothes, naturally. I mean everything: how can you get to those nice places, such as the backs of knees, or feet, or the little dent just below the abs, if clothes are in the way?

As I said earlier, I didn’t intend last night to be about sex, but it wasn’t like we jumped straight into bed like horny rabbits. There was a nice, long build up. I got the affection returned to me, in the form of Barry stroking my hair, and practically everywhere else, maybe because he hadn’t seen me, so had to remind himself of what every curve felt like.

It was nice to have so much time spent on foreplay (at least an hour), as it makes me so much more relaxed, so that when it comes to sex, it feels even better, because my senses are already heightened and seem to feel everything, but more so.

So I did curl up in my lover’s arms. Before, during and after sex. In fact, being as I’m off on a trip until the weekend, Barry didn’t really want to let me go

Forgiveness Part 2

June 2, 2008

So I said here that I was gonna wait a few weeks, see how it pans out. I also said I felt like a doormat, and wanted to see how that worked out. Some may say that the following means I buckled too soon, and am still a doormat.

I decided that being as the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, it’d be nice for me and Barry to cook together, being as it usually ends in food over most of the kitchen, not in our stomachs, but is great fun anyway! So we did, including pudding 🙂 I noticed a change in him almost as soon as he walked through the door: he was happy to see me, he even had conversations with my housemates, where for the past few weeks he’s kinda kept quiet and avoided them. But I still decided to ‘talk’ to him, about us.

He said there’s nothing wrong, he’s just bogged down by work. I said that he normally talks to me about these sorts of things, and you know what he said? Here you go:

“You’ve been through so much, I don’t want you to have to worry about me too. You should look after yourself first”.

How bad do you think I felt then? All this time, he’s been very vague about what’s eating at him, and all the time, it’s cause he was thinking of me after all. He then proceeded to tell me he was so happy being with me.

So the night carried on as normal, just like it used to do. We know where we are now (well, I mean to say I do…I’m much less paranoid). And it evolved into a tickling contest, which resulted in me throwing him on the bed and having my wicked way with him 😉

Then just after he rolled me over so he was on top, he said ‘forgive me?’ Then we did what can only be described as made love. I don’t think I’ve ever ‘made love’ before, you know where you feel so….I dunno. So connected. He was holding my head in his arms cause my head was over the edge of the bed. And he just held me, and kissed me and hugged me like it mattered. It was the kind that has left me trembling, I’m just floating now! Although, think he got a bit scared, as he thought he’d broken me – should’ve waited an extra day! (See Being a woman)

So…feel less paranoid now, feel happier about everything. But did I ‘settle’? It’s not as if I haven’t made my points clear. I have stood up for myself. So fingers crossed…this will lead to a happier and stronger L+B relationship, and eventually, once I’ve sorted my head out, a happier Lace.

Supersex

May 13, 2008

I thought today I’d do something a bit different to the ‘Position of the Week’. As mentioned in my previous post, I also purchased the Supersex card deck, so I will share with you one of the cards 🙂

    Sex tricks

Tongue tussle:

Concentrate your tongue action on the frenulum (the stringy bit at the head of the penis on the underside, where the head meets the shaft). While your mouth is closed around his penis creating a warm, firm vacuum, male slow circles around the head, giving a double lick and wiggle every time you pass the frenulum.

BDSM quiz

May 10, 2008

 
Do you have an inclination for BDSM?
created with QuizFarm.com
You scored as Switch(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.)))You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch
 
100%
Bondage
 
93%
Experimental
 
86%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
 
82%
Dominant
 
71%
Submissive
 
50%
Sadist
 
29%
Masochist
 
25%
Vanilla
 
21%
Degradation Lover
 
4%

I stole this from wickedbed cause it looked fun 🙂 Although, am a bit disappointed with the ‘switch’ result.  At least the next one down was bondage, hurrah!