Being a woman

May 29, 2008 at 10:47 am (Men, Relationships, Sex)

Sometimes sucks. Despite the fact I’m on the pill that means you don’t have periods, I’m now having one for the first time in about 18 months. Typical. Am seeing Barry tonight as well. So instead of sex, he’ll have to put up with me having stupidly painful stomach cramps, which I’d happily forgotten how painful they could be.

Sorry for the TMI

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Stimulation

May 27, 2008 at 10:35 pm (Erotica, Kinkiness, Literature, Men, Porn, Relationships, Sex, Sex toys)

Aching to be fucked. I need a good old fashioned fucking. Hopefully will be seeing Barry sometime this week after our little ‘chat’ the other day. He seems to appreciate (if that’s the right word) me standing up for myself, like he likes it. So, now everything is sorted, I’m hoping that now he’s less stressed he’ll be, erm, dying for some action too.

I don’t know how much more I can read erotica and watch porn. It’s having some effect, but I need a big hard cock inside of me.

Whilst on the porn subject, none of the porn I’ve been watching has been man/woman sex, it’s been girl on girl. Am feeling the urge to have some lady love now exams are over ;)

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Good day!

May 23, 2008 at 11:05 pm (Loneliness, Love, Men, Relationships)

Woo, I saw Barry! Was by chance, bumped into him as he was with some mates and he was taking a walk because his head hurt from staring at the computer screen for so long. He looked, and seemed, really pleased to see me, that ‘oh wow, it’s you!’ with the big smile and a hug and a kiss, even in front of his mates. He stopped to have a conversation with me (I was on my way out with my own friends so couldn’t chat for long) but he said he missed me, and that he’s nearly finished. I said ‘I miss you…..sort of’ and he was like ‘Oh fine!’. But I do miss him, but I keep myself busy so I don’t feel like I miss him.

Anywho, all in all…he did seem happy to see me. Really happy. Lots of kisses and hugs. Asking me questions about my week. God I miss him!

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Love at first bite

May 23, 2008 at 9:44 am (Dreams, Kinkiness, Loneliness, Men, Relationships, Scarlet magazine, Sex)

Been sexy dreaming again. I know it’s because all I can think about at the moment is sex, but I’d rather stay in this sex-starved state and dream about it then have to put up with Barry moaning (and not in a good way) about how bad his life is at the moment (boo hoo).

So was dreaming about sex involving vampires last night. Me being a vampire as well. My other half was very yummy, not at all like my usual type, with longish blonde hair.

I do like to be bitten during sex anyway so perhaps this isn’t too much of a stretch for my imagination. And I know there are some people who like to actually draw blood when bitten (there was an article in Scarlet not long ago), but that would scare me slightly. I’ll stick to the teeth grazing over my collarbone, then my nipples, then maybe a bit further down…..

What a wonderful thought to get me through the day :D

Picture from http://www.darkinn.w3.pl/gothic/images/vamps/bite.jpg

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Worrying

May 21, 2008 at 2:20 pm (Loneliness, Love, Men, Relationships, Uni)

*Sigh*

5 days since I spoke to him and that stupid arguement, and no replies from my texts. Miss him lots :(

Am beginning to worry

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Our first arguement

May 18, 2008 at 7:05 pm (Loneliness, Men, Relationships, Uni)

Kinda like ‘baby’s first steps/smile/word’ sort of thing. I mean we’ve had ‘disagreements’ but never an arguement. And it all happened over good ol’ MSN.

Basically, Barry has left it to the last minute to do his dissertation, and he’s majorly stressing, naturally, as he is want to do. I can completely understand this, but what pisses me off is when he cancels on me on Wednesday (well cancel is the wrong word, he just didn’t turn up, and I concluded he was working, and he never said), and then I text him Thursday to ask if I’m seeing him on Friday. He replies with yes. But guess what? He forgets. He says he’s really pissed off with his work and that he’s not in a good mood and he’d rather work than see me. Ok, that’s fine. But a little more notice next time? But what made it worse was he was like ‘I don’t want to see you’. Which I know means ‘I need to work’ and perhaps doesn’t mean how it sounds…..but it’s still hurtful you know?

What’s even worse is that I’d had a shite week and needed someone desperately to talk to. And I told him that. And he said that he wasn’t good at listening, couldn’t I talk to someone else? So I did. I’ve been home all weekend and haven’t spoken to him. It’s the break I needed. I’ve sorted my head out (sort of) and put things in place to get me on track again. But I haven’t heard from him. I assume this is because he’s working/giving me space, but my paranoid nature can’t help but feel I’ve come across as a needy/crazy gf that demands his attention. Plus….I’ve had a weekend away from him, no contact….and I don’t feel bad about it. Is that wrong? I don’t feel bad for having a go at him, I think he deserved it, dissertation or no dissertation. I’ve enjoyed spending time on my own without checking my phone to see if he’s text or called. I’m not fussed if I don’t see him this week if he’s working, cause I don’t want a grumpy, pissed off, self-centred sod sitting next to me going on and on about how shite life is and making feel depressed again. I’d rather wait until after he’s finished and he’s back to his normal self.

I’ve spoken to a few friends this weekend who’ve all said ‘dump him, he wasn’t there for you when you needed him’. But I know that that’s because he wouldn’t have been any good to me Friday night, cause of the way he was. The week before when I had a mini breakdown, he was fine, he hugged me until I calmed down, and gave me space, but cared for me in his own way if that makes sense.

So there’s nothing wrong with ‘alone time’.

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Sexy dreaming again

May 16, 2008 at 5:03 pm (Anal, Dreams, Men, Relationships, Sex)

I was reading some erotica last night and it’s incorporated itself into one of my dreams, and it was hot! It was so good, I didn’t want to wake up. But when I did, I found myself reaching under teh bed for my goodie box to pull out one of my vibrators ;)

I dreamt it was a hot day, and I was lying on the bed, the windows were open to let in some cool air, and I was trying not to move, as it was too hot to do anything but laze about. Barry comes into my room, which is unusual, as he always tells me when he’s coming round, and this was a surprise, a pleasant one anyway. He shuts the door behind him.

‘Hi’, I say, not moving from my comfy place on the bed. ‘I would get up, but it’s too hot’
‘That’s ok’, he says, moving to the foot of the bed, ’stay right where you are’, and proceeds to bend over and start kissing the inside of my leg, and working his way up to the top of my thigh, where my denim hotpants prevent him going any further. He raises his head so he was looking at me, with that knowing expression and cheeky smile. I raise my eyebrows, as if to say ’so what now?’ He leans in for a lingering kiss, light on my lips, and pauses before lying scooping me up in his arms and pulling me close to him and probes my mouth with his tongue. I run my hands through his hair, and his hands are feeling every inch of my body, like he wants to remember every curve of it.

I am the first to be completely naked, he refuses to let me take his clothes off: he stands me up and strips me down ever so slowly, starting with my top, and kisses every part of my torso that the fabric has touched. Then he kneels on the floor and undoes the button to my shorts, and lets them fall to the ground. He kisses my stomach, and his fingers curl under the tops of my knickers, and pulls them down. He grabs my right leg, and puts it over his shoulder and teases me with butterfly kisses on the inside of my thigh before running his tongue up and down the length of my opening. He swirls his tongue over my clit and probes two fingers into my pussy, and I moan with pleasure. His other hand is holding me in the small of my back, to prevent me toppling over from this overload of pleasure. He gently nips my clit with his teeth, just as he curls his fingers to my g-spot, making me cum. I collapse on the bed, but he isn’t finished with me yet, and I’m only just warmed up.

He strips down in lightning quick time, and is on top of me before I can get up to help him remove his clothes. I cry out as my enters me, his cock stretches me length and width, but he is gentle and moves slowly at first. His pace quickens, and I wrap my legs around his back to bring him closer to me. He shifts his position slightly so he can wrap me up in his arms and make slow, long movements with his cock: he pulls out and pauses before slowly entering me again, and then pushes his pelvis hard against my clit, slowly building the wave towards the inevitable peak.

Then, all of a sudden he stops, and pulls out, but still carries on caressing me and kissing me. He positions my leg over his shoulder, and moves his cock further down, so he is rubbing against my anus. His hand grabs my ass cheek and he slowly and careful enters me. I scream, he is so big, and I haven’t done this in ages, it hurts so much! But he only enters me with the tip of his cock at first until I’m used to it, and massages my clit with his thumb. With every thrust he enters me a little further. I can see that this is causing him great pleasure. I ask him ‘that feels good yeah?’, and he can only reply with a nod and a smile on his face.

He moves his hand away from my clit, but his pelvis is in such a good position to simulate my clit anyway, that I will be coming soon too. I can feel the wave building, bigger than last time, and I can read on Barry’s face that he will not last long. I can’t stand this mix of pleasure and pain, I arch my back and raise my torso to Barry’s moist and eagerly awaiting mouth, so he can suck and bit my nipples. I look into his eyes as I come, the spasms taking him with me. We just lie lie that, interlocked in each others arms for what seems like an hour, but only a few minutes.

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Embarassing

May 16, 2008 at 8:42 am (BDSM, Bondage, PVC, Sex Games, Sex toys)

My mother came over to visit me yesterday evening, and she decided she was going to take some washing home to save me doing it (I’ve been feeling a bit under the weather this week, so household chores were the last thing on my mind). So whilst she was trying to find my spare towels, before I could stop her she stumbled across my secret goodie under-the-bed box thingy, containing erotica, kama sutra, handcuffs, whips, eyemasks, sex toys, the lot

She didn’t say anything and just pushed it backed under the bed.

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Pole dancing and men

May 15, 2008 at 12:02 pm (Flirting, Friendships, Men, Pole dancing, Relationships)

One of my male friends has just discovered I do pole dancing. I don’t know how he’s gone so long without knowing this, as I thought all my friends knew that that’s where I disappear off to a few times a week. But he’s been reading my facebook profile and sent me a message going something along the lines of ‘You do pole dancing?! That’s so HOT!’

I have suggested he come with me to a lesson, as men are allowed to the lessons. But (and I’m not being sexist) it’s not really a male dance form. There are certain moves that would, erm, hurt their tackle. Even if they do it right, it’s gonna hurt.

Anywho, back to my mate. I’ll call him Shawn. We had a ‘thing’ last year, and by thing I mean I was drunk, he was drunk, we kissed and then he kinda followed me around like a lovesick puppy for months, even though I made it clear I wasn’t interested in him in that way. I felt very bad, I know it was only a kiss, but I was newly single and realised that if I wanted a snog, I should’nt have picked one of my mates. I tried to be as unbitchy as possible. When I started going out with Barry we sort of got back to the normal friends stage. I do hope he doesn’t start looking at me like some sort of lust object again.

But, at least I know the affect pole dancing has on men. If me and Barry ever split, I know just what to say to men ;)

Oh, and whilst on the Barry front…..dissertation are ruining my relationship! Would it kill him to tell me before 9pm that he’s not coming round cause he’s working on his dissertation?!

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Supersex

May 13, 2008 at 11:34 am (Blow Jobs, Men, Reviews, Sex, Uncategorized)

I thought today I’d do something a bit different to the ‘Position of the Week’. As mentioned in my previous post, I also purchased the Supersex card deck, so I will share with you one of the cards :)

    Sex tricks

Tongue tussle:

Concentrate your tongue action on the frenulum (the stringy bit at the head of the penis on the underside, where the head meets the shaft). While your mouth is closed around his penis creating a warm, firm vacuum, male slow circles around the head, giving a double lick and wiggle every time you pass the frenulum.

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